just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
