I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'm like, not good at living.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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