His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize