Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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