Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
