Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
