At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize