we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize