Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
