I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
