Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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