he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
