Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
