do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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