NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize