as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
You left your phone here
Wait...
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