she looked like the before picture.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
