do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
