you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
