I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
My dick has a subreddit
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize