Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
