yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
