question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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