I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
