then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
