WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
