its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
