Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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