dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
