the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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