She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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