If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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