well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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