i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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