Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
