How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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