We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
