white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
