my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
