I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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