As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
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