Its about making memories worth repressing
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
