When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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