who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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