D3 body, D1 cock
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
