I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize