I'm so fucking centered right now
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
