she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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