She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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