Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
