i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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