you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
