You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I will be naked everywhere
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize