She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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