I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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