Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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