Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
What a dumb baby whore.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
