You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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