WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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