Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
